Confessions

Dear Brazilian Ju-jitsu class,

I have lied to you.

Remember when during yesterday's training I said I pulled a muscle?
We were sparring on the ground, and suddenly I said I need to take a break, so I went outside to rest for a while.

Yeah, so I didn't really pull a muscle.
I went to the bathroom and puked like a cat.

I threw up my late breakfast.
I threw up my lunch.
I threw up the apple and coffee I had before the training.
Then I washed my face and felt really good.
And then I threw up some more.

And when I came back to the gym, everyone was trying triangle chokes and you, my dear training buddy, you asked me if I wanted to practise. I said "Nah, I'm fine, I know this one".

You should know, my fellow BJJ practitioners, that what I really meant when I said "I know this one", was no more than: "I have seen Anderson Silva do it on a ppv once". And what I meant by "I'm fine" was actually "I would really like to try it but I don't think I can lift my feet without puking again."

My fellow grapplers, that is all.
I will see you next week, hoping you will never read this.